He’s three and not quite independent in the bathroom. He wants me far enough away to “give him space” but close enough to help should he desire my company.
Finishing, he looks down at his penis and back up at me. Tilting his head, his almond shaped eyes scrunch inward and the corners of his lips purse down. Tanner’s penis is bigger than mine. (Insert dramatic pause) I. so. sad.
I fall off the stool and simultaneously bite my lip to muffle explosive laughter.