Love. What’s Your Language?

bekah Faith 1 Comment

Love languages and the topics surrounding have surfaced in multiple conversations recently. I realize the 5 Love Languages is a familiar book. The concept of how we specifically love others, and how we desire to feel loved is simple concept, but when lived out, can truly be life-changing! After all, don’t we really just want to be loved?

So, yes, the topic has circled. With a dear friend. On a double date. With my mom and mom-in-law… . Quality time? Words of encouragement? Acts of service? Gift-giving? Or physical touch? Obviously, we know what most men say! But truly, this whole love language thing has got me thinking….

How nice would it be if we all wore chalkboard signs {in a cute necklace-y way, not in the awkward, over-sized, sandwich board-wearing way~ like the guys on the corner, dancing and waving the Quizno’s Special sign!}? And what if on that chalkboard sign was written how we desire to feel loved?

Wouldn’t life be easier if you knew your friend, she really just wants you to buy her a freakin’ gift? Or, that your brother, truly values when you share what a specific difference he makes? Or that a co-worker values a hug? Or that your boss, he really wants to be verbally affirmed of his managerial role? It would take a huge chunk of guessing, assumptions, and stress out of relationships if we knew how to speak other’s love language to them.
And the irony is, one’s specific love language may oftentimes not speak love to another. Simply because encouraging someone verbally makes you warm and fuzzy inside, doesn’t necessarily make someone else feel the most loved. For all you know, they feel valued when you make them dinner, or offer to watch their kids.
Take my mom for example… the lady buys gifts for others like nobody’s business. She’ll be out and see this for someone in their bible study, and that for her friend in Colorado. I think yesterday she bought a treasure for the postman! And the other day, we were shopping for Tanner’s party, and she was carrying a coffee mug with numbers crawling all over it. “It’s for the math teacher at school,” she smiles! Uh-huh? She loves tucking gifts away, knowing it will make that person feel loved. Gift- giving, it’s the way she loves others.
Now, if I give her a gift, that’s great and all. But if I call her to grab lunch and catch up, that speaks love to her. Quality time displays love in a tangible way to her soul.

It took me a while to figure this out about my mom. Mother’s Day, her birthday, St. Patty’s day… whatever holiday would be around the corner, and the anxious bug would bite.

What gift am I going to give her? What would she love? Deep sigh. Attempting to squeeze creative juices out …

So one day, I simply asked her about it…this crazy obsession with gift-giving and what in the world she wanted me to get her. And it was then, that I learned she could care less about receiving a gift, but truly feels loved when people give her quality time.

So back to my chalkboard sign vision. It will just make life simpler. And more honest. And help us love each other better. I’ll go first…

My love language is quality time. If you call me to catch up and get together, well, you just made my day! I don’t care if we gab over a walk, decorating session, or dessert, the fact that you initiate, makes me feel loved. Makes my day. Maybe my week, if the dessert has anything to do with chocolate. If you desire to know my thoughts, fears, and dreams, that speaks love right to all 5ft 1 1/2′ of me! Spending quality time together equates doing life together, and to me, there is no better way to feel loved or valued. To be thought of or invited somewhere {even if I can’t make it} whispers love.

So whether it’s words of encouragement, physical touch, quality time, acts of service or gift-giving, give love abundantly in your special way, and intentionally allow other’s to receive their valued love language!
Get the chalkboard sign out. Your turn. Honestly. Please share. I’d love to know how you feel most loved…
Love. What’s YOUR language? 

Comments 1

  1. Bekah, I’m just like you! Although I’m convinced somehow little thoughtful gifts are a part of that. Like, you took the time to think of me. I love reading your thoughts! <3

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