Dear College Friends, Whether you are attending a four-year university, or commuting to a junior college, whether you are living on campus or saving money at home, today I write to you, as you are fresh on my heart. You, who have much societal and personal pressure to achieve, surpass, do, do, do. You, who have huge dreams and passions …
He’s three and not quite independent in the bathroom. He wants me far enough away to “give him space” but close enough to help should he desire my company.
Finishing, he looks down at his penis and back up at me. Tilting his head, his almond shaped eyes scrunch inward and the corners of his lips purse down. Tanner’s penis is bigger than mine. (Insert dramatic pause) I. so. sad.
I fall off the stool and simultaneously bite my lip to muffle explosive laughter.