Oh God, I feel fumbly and confused. I feel like everything I’m trying and attempting is coming up void. Or met with crickets. I sense there is a for the 50th time reminder about surrender and trust but all I see right now is an obedient posture met with silence. This leaves me feeling discarded. Is there an interest in …
Let’s talk about vacations for a second. There’s the hopes and expectations of how it will unfold. The weather will be perfect, The kids will not argue once. All will be magical and sunny and super relaxing. These were my silly expectations. And I didn’t know until we arrived to straight gray weather and cold wind and real life happening …
I’m a recovering rescuer. A fixer. The friend that was like, ‘oh you have a problem? Let’s find a solution.’ I became aware of my rescuer tendencies after my dad died. The solving. The encouraging. The pouring. It made me feel nice and warm inside to offer something. Looking back I recognize that my selfishness took over when I felt …
Intimacy. There’s a block. I’ve known it in my bones for months. Followed by self-protection from receiving love. I feel it with my husband, my kids, my friends. Blame it on hormones, middle age, or I’m tired, but it’s more than that; its an interior intimacy block. I’m afraid to trust so I put up a wide thick cement guard …
We’re a society that celebrates standing and performing and speaking from stages. We love movement and sharing about what we know and being in control. Because when we have something to give, we just feel better about our, hmm, what’s the word? Position? It’s more comfortable being in a position of speaking rather than listening, would you agree? Or sharing …
I find it comforting that the last book, the final page I turned on the eve of 2018 was Hinds Feet for High Places. This humble read moved me to tears as I read the allegorical journey of faith, trust and transformation. With candles lit and our home cozy inside, I found a familiar question surface: what are my goals …
We turn the light on to help someone find their way home. Even if home is not here, but over there. Down the street. Or across the world. A small light leading toward a familiar feeling that we may not yet have words for. It was Tay who first turned on a light that is still leading me home. She …
* This post is dedicated to Mandy and anyone who feels like they have to dim themselves to be loved. I spoke with a friend just now, walking all over our neighborhood. For an hour plus. I listened as she shared honest words about how she’s dimmed to keep peace in relationships. She’s dimmed in order to be loved. Is …
Hi friend, I’m sitting on the porch drinking a coconut La Croix, pretending it’s still summer (I know all you fall people are jumping into your boots and rocking your scarves and drinking yo’ pumpkin lattes) but honestly, I’m over here trying not to have a panic attack in anticipation of fall leading to winter! Because moving from CA to …
Lying down. The moment I lay down next to him in his cozy bed, he opens his mouth. Out pours all the pain underneath of what we just experienced to be a three-hour angry outburst. Words come. Tears follow. I hold him and his brave elementary age, boy-man tears while he shares and talks and asks and processes. He experiences, …