New light. This phrase woke me from my sleep and continued rolling around in my mind and spirit as the days went on. New light? What does this mean? Days later, I dreamt of a familiar faces who greeted while the sun rose, bright bubblegum pinks and vivid violet, in the background. The light offered a sense of joy and …
For 15+ years I was a pastor’s wife, a small group leader, a life group inviter, a camp counselor alongside my husband. When you’re in a church, you begin to speak the language, you adapt to the rhythms of serving and leading and taking on “we” language. It’s easy for the church to become the driving force, rather than being …
Growing up can tell us to worry about what others think, to stay paralyzed with fear of being rejected if we’re too honest, ask too many questions, are too curious, are too drawn toward beauty and wonder. Growing up can tell us to hustle for our worth, to make our names great. To stay in our pain and look through cynical eyes, and an untrusting lens. Growing down. This …
Ooooookay I’ve been bursting to share this news with you because it’s literally a dream-of-a-gift-come-true!!!! I was gifted a podcast- yes GIFTED- studio time, production, editing, marketing- the whole humble shabang by souls who believe in Pasture Experience and want you to be able to journey this listening path, inspired by Psalm 23, from wherever you are. The most beautiful …
He was on my computer this morning. Without asking. I’m learning much from our sons these days. Always learning, but especially now my ears are perked to listen and eyes set to notice. There’s much to gain when we make ourselves available to be students, in addition to teachers. After much back-and-forth and lack of truth-telling, the boy caved. With …
Oh God, I feel fumbly and confused. I feel like everything I’m trying and attempting is coming up void. Or met with crickets. I sense there is a for the 50th time reminder about surrender and trust but all I see right now is an obedient posture met with silence. This leaves me feeling discarded. Is there an interest in …
Let’s talk about vacations for a second. There’s the hopes and expectations of how it will unfold. The weather will be perfect, The kids will not argue once. All will be magical and sunny and super relaxing. These were my silly expectations. And I didn’t know until we arrived to straight gray weather and cold wind and real life happening …
I’m a recovering rescuer. A fixer. The friend that was like, ‘oh you have a problem? Let’s find a solution.’ I became aware of my rescuer tendencies after my dad died. The solving. The encouraging. The pouring. It made me feel nice and warm inside to offer something. Looking back I recognize that my selfishness took over when I felt …
Intimacy. There’s a block. I’ve known it in my bones for months. Followed by self-protection from receiving love. I feel it with my husband, my kids, my friends. Blame it on hormones, middle age, or I’m tired, but it’s more than that; its an interior intimacy block. I’m afraid to trust so I put up a wide thick cement guard …
We’re a society that celebrates standing and performing and speaking from stages. We love movement and sharing about what we know and being in control. Because when we have something to give, we just feel better about our, hmm, what’s the word? Position? It’s more comfortable being in a position of speaking rather than listening, would you agree? Or sharing …