When our boys were young, most of our together went like this:
SURVIVE THE DAY.
COLLAPSE ON THE COUCH.
VEG OUT TO A SHOW.
Those days were both exhausting and priceless in soaking up new kiddos ways, not Oh my spouse and I are getting such uh-mazing quality time together days. I know many of you are in the survival stage and I hope you know, soon enough, you and your spouse WILL have that time. Don’t wish these days away, the nights where you budget for a sitter so you can run out and scarf food off non-plastic plates without having to “airplane” peas or beg for “one more bite” or refill sippy cups. These sacred dates where you put on something without an elastic waistband and throw on perfume and lipstick, these are what build to Honeymoon Fridays.
When our boys started school (cue angels singing and Janet Jackson dancing in the background) Bryan and I took advantage of his ministry schedule with Fridays off and declared them Honeymoon Fridays, our morning together. The best part? It’s in broad daylight, people! Six whole freakin’ hours of new-found freedom to sample cozy breakfast spots, explore towns, enjoy time as if we were honeymooners but with years of worn tread, inside jokes, muscles strengthened by loss and comfort and choosing one another as best friends even in seasons where we felt like roommates.
Honeymoon Fridays are where we feel alive. And surprisingly our favorite mornings are the ones we stay home and make avocado eggs and German pancakes and I, in Bry’s oversize college sweatshirt, share conversation across our worn kitchen table. Back and forth. Back and forth. Sometimes we reminisce. Or brainstorm about how to connect with our kids or, How can we keep them from killing each other? we ask. Some days we pause and go off on our own- to throw in a load of laundry or tinker in the garage or clean the kitchen- and then we find ourselves back together, eager to get outside on our bikes or on foot before we pick the boys up from school and welcome the crazy.
It’s the time. It’s the consistency. It’s the connection that we’ve come to anticipate every Honeymoon Friday. Magic isn’t the key, unless you call prioritizing marriage as magic. And years from now, after the boys are out of
high school college and everyday is Honeymoon Friday, we find the sacred lull from 8-2 on the final weekday enough to reboot because at 2:01pm come Friday, it’s game time.
If you desire more connection in your marriage, fight for it. Carve out time. Put it on your calendar. Have couch dates after the lil’ munchers are down for the night- even if it’s thirty minutes connecting about the day and asking how you can better support or love or listen to the other- fight for it. Because the best marriages, ones grown in authentic love, make a world of difference to our kids, our community, our calling. And “Love,” as Mother Theresa says, “begins at home, and it is not how much we do but how much love we put in that action.”