Time for R&R

bekah General 1 Comment

Behind my eyes I feel it. As the sun shines through dusty blinds, I channel a silent prayer toward my bedside clock. Just five more minutes, I groan.

What a week it’s been. Glass half full is my typical perspective, but this week, well, it’s been doused in more lemon juice than rose water and I’m tired.
Unmotivated.
In need of some R&R.

And there’s such freedom in sitting with a friend at dinner and telling her that very fact: I could use some Rest & Relaxation.

You see, after both cars– yes, you read that correctly- both hugged nails somewhere along our daily commute and begged for new tires, after a family member lost hope, after Bryan and I scribbled our signatures on our living trust and I was suddenly transported to my dad’s bedside as I gave instructions for “If I were in a coma and couldn’t make decisions for myself, would I want someone to pull the plug?” After hours at the DMV to renew my license I reached for my checkbook only to realize it was at home (this is when I knew I was losing it). After little sleep and a creative block, and even after all the sticky moments were sprinkled with celebrating our oldest’s birthday, I recognize it in my bones.

I am exhausted.
Depleted.
I can’t do it all, nor do I need to.

An itchy habit hints at shame. At beating myself up for not being more positive or mustering up energy. But the thing about heavy circumstances leading to grief triggers is the reality that I know myself well enough to recognize that when I lose motivation, when I want to hit the clock and pull the covers over, I am in fact, due for a respite, a retreat. A restart, if you will.

Do you know the feeling? And all of God’s children nodded their heads in agreement.

So you can imagine why our vacation could not come at a more God-orchestrated time.
{Push play on Hawaiian music and island vibes.}

Next week Bryan and I are heading to Maui for a week. Hallelujah!!!! Seven whole freakin’ days with just us and miles of sand and sleeping in and hiking and that sweet dirt smell and Oh, I can just taste it now.

Rest. It’s on the horizon. And even though Ty told me, “Mom, when you walk, your bottom jiggles,” I’m going to jiggle my tush all over Maui and drink coconuts and nap and relax.

I’m going to give myself permission to achieve the art of cup-filling. Of vacationing. Of R&R’ing.

It’s ironic how vacations were not intended to escape normal life, but an opportunity to experience new cultures and flavors and music and return with a richer frame of mind. The beauty of travel is that it awakens something within us that we so often miss at home, surrounded by bills and work and a dog that needs to be walked.

During Maui R&Ring, I’m going to enjoy every minute with my husband of eleven years. We’re going to eat scallops in our bathing suits and and bar-b-que on the lawn of our humble condo. We’re going to savor everyday pleasures like exploring and reading and writing for the sheer joy of feeling alive by doing so, not to meet deadlines, or check them off a list. We’re going to pray as we swim, glimpse heaven in tropical sunsets, and lounge on sun-drenched beaches.

We’re going to rest.

Before we hit our wall.
Before we can’t see straight from stress.
Before we really need to escape.

Because vacations are a step away from our normal activities to remind us why we choose the lives, the schedules, the jobs and communities and churches we do.

And I want to come back to them rejuvenated and creative and filled to the brim.

With a tan, jiggly behind.

Comments 1

  1. Two thumbs up and a resounding and hearty chorous of AMENS!! I’m counting the days until the girlfriend reunion in Colorado Springs for the same reason! Hallelujah for vacations!

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