On the anniversary of a loved One

bekah Loss 2 Comments

{This post is dedicated to my dear friend Donna, who lost her mom a year ago today. And to Wendi, who lost her sweet dad years ago, and gently prepared me for my own father’s heavenersary. And to anyone else who is missing a loved one today, these words are for you.}



It seems to stare at you in extra bold caps- the loomy calendar date with the exact number and month of when they passed away. They being your mom or dad or spouse or someone dear to your heart. May I just say, I’m sorry. No matter if it’s the first year, or the 20th, I’m sorry they are not here to join your everyday conversations, dinner preparations, or to watch your kids or grand-kids read and play sports and become amazing young people. There is, and always will exist a gap where their presence should be. How I wish I could give you a hug and sit with you.

Yes I know they are in heaven and yes, I realize you will see them there one day, but I know here on earth, you miss them terribly. And it sucks. And I’m so, so sorry.

I also trust if it were not for the aching pain of loss and grief and wishing someone back for just one tiny moment so much you can almost taste it, there would be no meaning to life. It not for a love so deep that their absence carves a hole, we would have no need for hope. And without hope, what is there but robotical thoughts and a perfect (gag) existence? No, in such an odd way, death is necessary to woo us toward our Creator, to know without a doubt, that there must.be.more.

For those of you who are both grieving and celebrating the much-loved life of a dear one, I’m reminded of this post I wrote on my dad’s 1st Heavenarsary last April: Grief Journey: Stepping out of the Shade. I pray it comforts, validates, and encourages you during this time.

You, downcast friend (and yes, it’s okay to be sad) are in my prayers today.

You are stronger than you ever thought possible. You are cloaked in compassion, and surely, you give more freely and generously to others now, especially those who hurt. You love all the more because of missing one who holds a piece of you. And you see with fresh eyes- eternal ones. You pause to breathe in the world, and crane your ear toward heaven’s melodies. You talk without fear that there is something else you ought to be doing. No, you who have lost deeply, live all the more. Even if you don’t feel it. As your heart aches for someone passed, my heart celebrates YOU for fighting to press on, bravely sharing your story, especially the real parts. Like lament and sorrow and not being okay. Give yourself permsission to journey the process God has for you. You are being transformed each step of the way.

And His face surely shines upon you.

Hear my prayer, O LORD! And let my cry for help come to You. Do not hide Your face from me in the day of my distress; Incline Your ear to me; In the day when I call answer me quickly. – Psalm 102:1-2


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