Why Turning into Mom is Okay, and 3 Ways I Want to Be Just.Like.Her

bekah General 1 Comment

Anything we did similarly- mannerisms, phrases, interests- there was Dad’s voice, You’re turning into your mother. 

Ugh. Dad. I’m ME! My own unique person. I’m NOT turning into mom.

We are so very different; ‘Lil Mom and I, yet, so very similar. And more than ever, I hope to emulate who she not only is, but who she is continually becoming.

Aside from the fact that I hug strangers and speak in occasional sing-song like her, we are night-and-day. Okay, we talk with our hands, love designing, speaking, reading, and planning parties. Gift-giving, encouraging, and positivity come second nature and celebrating- is there a party? Good! Someone must be celebrated. Never mind our impulsive, impatient sides. Aside from made-up words and connecting at the heart, we really are incredibly different. {Sarcasm now in full force} I never pick roses for friends, write notes in our sons books, or send cards in the mail just.like.her. Oh gosh! It’s true! Who am I kidding? My dad was right. I’m becoming my mother!

You can be similar to someone but not want to be like them. After working through bumps, the clarifying, back-and-forth-listening type of bumps, Mom and I are closer than ever. Similarities have grown into an admiration and appreciation for her. With Dad gone, it’s as if I’ve gained an older sister, the dynamic shifting without a mom and dad team present. She’s carried her dual role beautifully- running up and down the halls with the boys, fighting “bad” guys, embracing the activities Dad so naturally did. On this Mother’s Day, here’s how I hope to be just. like. her.

‘Lil Mom,

This last year, you’ve displayed authentic, huge faith. You believe God wholly. You trust He is good despite circumstances. There are days I’ve been angry, had meltdowns, thrown my hands in the air, wondered aloud, and you have not wavered once in knowing God’s timing is perfect, that His ways are good. I can hear you saying it confidently: He. Is. GOOD. How I hope to emulate a grain of your faith, the unwavering belief you carry. You are not jostled by those around you, but hold firm to His truth. This quality shines from every inch of your 4 ft. 11″ frame. Oh, your faith.

Your willingness to grow and learn and apologize has ballooned. Without a spouse, you’ve done all the communicating {let’s be honest, you did most of that anyway} and have had to navigate new relationships, social settings, and family dynamics. Everything in your life is different, yet not once have you felt sorry for yourself. You’ve been transparent about the days you cry yourself to sleep and crave Dad’s company. Despite missing him every moment, you have not allowed his absence to sour your spirit. If anything, you’ve inspired me with your confidence that God has you here for a purpose and you are available to your last breath. It’s beautiful Mom, the way you gaze at the sky as if God is handing you day-by-day whisperings of what’s next. Humility and grace- you wear it well.

One thing I’ve chewed on many a nights is your response to the phrase, Dean would want you to _____ or Do it for Dean. Never before have I thought of it, but you say it perfectly: I’m not living my life to show Dean I can go on, or making the best of it for him. I’m enjoying every day because it’s what God wants; for me to live full of joy. That, ‘Lil Mom is why you are amazing. Eternity is on your lips and etched on your heart. You live not for the temporal, but for the joy of forever. Wise words to live by.

Happy Mother’s Day ‘LilMomSisterFriend. I’m okay being like you. Heck, I hope to slough off some of my sensitivity and people-pleasing in hopes to crawl into your refined, wiser skin. Differences do exist, and enjoying the unique journey each of us are on is a part of that.

Love you,

Bekah Jane

May I encourage you to write a letter to whichever “mom” role blesses you; whether it be your biological mom, aunt, mentor, or grandma. Take a moment to pen words on how she enriches your life, and why you hope to be a little like her. Written word is powerful; a gift to be read and re-read for years to come. Give a valued woman in your life the gift of words this Mother’s Day.

And thank you, reader friends, for journeying life with me.

Comments 1

  1. Bekah,
    That is the most beautiful Mothers Day gift you could give your mom. You just get better and better with every word you write, as your mom is so blessed to have you for her daughter I too am blessed to have you for a Daughter-in-Law!
    May you continue to inspire all those that read your blog!

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