What I heard on a “Silent Retreat”

bekah Faith Leave a Comment

There was five, very “unsilent” of us gals that accepted the invitation to a “Silent Retreat.”

I went with no expectations, no God’s gonna write in the sky, or I’m going to have a crazy vision.

The day before I’d read in Jesus Calling about being still, and focusing on being with God. Sarah Young’s words stayed close, “While you wait in My Presence, I do My best work within you: transforming you by the the renewing of your mind…Do not seek Me primarily for what I can give you. I am deeply grieved when My blessings become idols in their hearts.”

Oh, how I don’t want His blessings to become the sole reason I worship. So I went simply to enjoy Him.

It was a long 4 1/2 hours. But rich in prayer and noticing, in reading His Words and writing what came to mind. And then I asked Him, Hey God, you mind sharing something, you know, from a Heavenly Father to a daughter?

I enjoy YOU.

Huh, really? ‘Cuz I’m kinda cranky today

and I don’t forgive enough.

I’m better at apologizing to my kids than my spouse

and I feel unmotivated many days.

 

I enjoy YOU.

 

That’s nice, but I’m not good at making meals when people have babies.

I don’t currently serve at church.

I should call and check on friends more

and tidy less and jump on the trampoline with the boys when they ask.

 

I enjoy YOU.

 

You sure? ‘Cuz so many people are more talented,

are more seen and heard,

have greater gifts and are smarter than me.

 

I enjoy YOU.

 

But I’m impulsive and passionate

and quick to start and slow to finish

I want to appear more polished than the tangled knots I feel inside

I wish I wasn’t as sensitive or analytical.

 

I enjoy YOU.

 

Me? Just as I am? In process? Super messy?

Learning how to forgive and love unconditionally?

Wrestling with knowing Your heart in a multi-message shouting world?

You enjoy me just like this?

 

Yes. I enjoy YOU.

 

I’d gone to enjoy Him, yet came home in awe that the Creator of the world enjoys me. It’s one of those truths my brain knows, but my heart struggles to absorb.

Friend, may I steal you away for a moment? Let’s take a break from your task and walk to the lookout where I sat when He spoke. See the Spanish tiles at our feet? Come, sit. The bench is cement, cracked and cold, yet there’s a Secret Garden feel with wildflowers poking out of dark crevices. Jasmine fragrances are all-around and birds chatter nearby. Here, I’ll share my apple with you. We crunch in silence, just the two of us overlooking emerald hills.

All of this is for you. To enjoy Him. And the crazy thing is He enjoys YOU too. Sit in that. Soak that truth in. Close your eyes and ask Him what He wants to share with you today. This week. Then listen.

I’ll be here if you want to continue our walk. I’d love to hear what He has to tell YOU. After all, the “silent” part is over.

“Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world.” Psalm 46:10

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