What Dad Would Say

bekah Loss 1 Comment

* This post is dedicated to my dear friend Em, who suggested I write a letter from my dad to me about today. Thank you Em for inspiring me daily with your unconditional love and grace, and for this healing reminder of what dad would say.

Bekah Jane,

I’m sorry you’ve had a tough couple of days.

I know being a parent isn’t a piece of cake.

It’s actually the hardest thing you’ll ever do. The love and consistency and prayer and energy that go into teaching these little people about how to love Jesus, and to share, and listen, and not bite- the list goes on… I know. I’ve been there. I’m still there… you’re never done being a parent.

We were walking on the beach- me, God, and your grandpa. Oh, this beach…you should see the waves here. The brightest, clearest sapphire water, as if the sky melted into the sea and became one. To the right are velvety golden hills and to the left, snow-covered caps. Each step opens into a new landscape, a new culture, with changing weather and smells and sounds and people from every nation. Heaven is amazing! I can’t wait for you to experience it all, to get a personal tour with our Lord.

Your Heavenly Father heard your cries first and paused his steps. His is everywhere, you know, all around. He conversates with millions simultaneously while giving each person 100% of his attention… something only the God of the Universe can do. He looked at you, through the invisible heaven/earth barrier and reached his hand out around your slumped shoulder. It was then the sobs reached my ears. We watched your teardrops replay the days events- each drop carrying pain of heartache.

Ty reacting in frustration and biting his buddy. Drop.

Thinking you’re a failure as a mom. Another tear falls.

Missing me and wishing I was there to come over and play with the boys and get your mind off it. Drop.

Getting called out of class because Ty bit again. Sitting on the floor holding your youngest and sobbing and apologizing to his friend and her mom and the workers and the staff and crying more. Leaving your class early and walking to the car, tears falling. Why Ty, Why? Drop. Drop. Drop.

And now, Ty in an exhausted slumber, I overhear you beg God to meet you right now; for His Spirit to bring wisdom and grace and peace in a situation that seems too much. Do you feel his hand around you? Do you sense his heart breathing beats into your aching one? Let me tell you firsthand, He loves you so. And he loves that little boy too. Even more than I do, and I would die for him all over again. He is speaking now… listen Bek:

My daughter, I hear your cries and my heart breaks with yours. I love you with a love that covers all sins, all wrongs, all pain. Your son is not defined by his actions and either are you. Love him. Love him. Love him. Do not let him be defined as a Biter. He is Ty. And I love him. Love him when you don’t want to, and when he isn’t listening, and when his choices are not the best. Love him. Love him because I do and

I Am Love.

Love him through the conversations about self control and about our bodies being used to help others, not hurt them. Discipline, forgive and move on. Don’t continue to bring it up. It is done. It is cast as far as the East and the West. Love him when he messes up and asks for forgiveness again, just as I do for you. Love him. As he demonstrates his strong will and impulsive spirit, I am there, pouring out my grace, so that in turn you can show it to him, and he will know my love because it will be seen in you. Love him.

Bekah Jane, He is pointing you to His Word. Read in Psalms, such truth, healing salve for a wound:

“My heart is not proud, Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have calmed myself and quieted my ambitions. I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content…” – Psalm 131, {emphasis mine}

Beautiful scripture reminder; simple, perfect words. If I am like a weaned child with its mother, I am content simply being with my son, loving him wholly, regardless of anything he does or doesn’t do. I am simply content to be with him. And to love him. Just as Jesus loves me.

Deep sigh.

And you know what, Bek? {You tilt your glasses down at the end of your noise and exhale your serious dad voice} You felt the embarrassment that every parent feels when their child is that kid; the bully, the trouble-maker, the mean kid. And now you have compassion to pour out to others because you’ve walked those humble shoes. You know the looks, the helplessness, the grappling for control only to meet stubborn eyes of a child. You know not to judge or assume or think you are above any of this, because kids have a messy way of destroying the box. And so does God. I see Him do it every second, even though time is irrelevant here in eternity…

Give that kid a hug from his Papa and take heart what God’s Spirit has said. He is loved. You are loved. In this world you will have trials. Today it was biting, months ago it was death, tomorrow has it’s own… be defined not by words or actions but by the fact that you are loved by the Creator of the Universe. And trust me, his creations put your earth to shame. Have I mentioned the waves? 🙂

You’re doing good, Bek. Keep it up. Pat, pat, pat.

~ Dad, your Fasha 🙂

Tear drop. drop. drop.

 

Comments 1

  1. “You know not to judge or assume or think you are above any of this, because kids have a messy way of destroying the box.” Well said and so true.

    Parenting children, I’m convinced, is God’s way to refine us, to humble us, and to reveal more of His perfect love and grace to us. It can be painful, often embarrassing, but in a good sense, purifying too. Hang in there and shine like gold.

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