How do you feel about your life?

bekah Faith Leave a Comment

If you and I were sitting at a quaint coffee shop, the hole-in-the-wall bests, with worn leather chairs, shelves lined with customer’s mugs, and dare I say it aloud? a fireplace, what beverage would you be sipping?

A caramel latte?

Coffee. Black.

Chai tea?

And while you sip, the place bustling and cozy and and living-room like, what would you say if I were to ask you how you feel about your life right now? Like truly honestly feel?

Would you be thankful? Anxious? Content? Exhausted? Maybe you’d describe your life as chaotic, or a blessing, or maybe you aren’t sure. And that’s okay.

You put your mug down, your thumb hooked through the handle and hand back the question.

I take a deep breath. Sigh it in and think it out.

I feel motivated to listen. Really listen. Head down, one foot in front of the other, focused listening. Funny, listening has become a full time job.  Listening, then taking the next step. Day by day. It feel like I’m inching through life, but the minute I allow myself to believe that, comparison, and discontentment break through the cracks. So I listen.

I listen to my boys asking me to play with them. To get off the computer and come play. So I’m listening and making them a priority. Beach walks, Nerf Gun fights down the hall, reading for hours. Bake with me. Talk with me. Laugh at me while I do a home workout video and curse Jillian in my head. The work can be done after they go to bed. The emails can be checked at naps. They don’t need a mom distracted by every text and update. They need a mom present enough to show them they are valued and adored. And listened to. Today, we play. And not in a hands-in-the-air-screw-responsibilities-shrug, but in a joyful, I get-t0-create-memories-with-my-sons attitude. Easier said than done, but the reality is soon they won’t want to play with me. Soon they won’t ask. It {and you know what it is} can wait.

I listen to my soul. Needing unconditional love. Healing. Rest. When my inner fan reaches maximum speed, I’m learning to recognize those warning signs, those red lights flashing inside. Something is off. The water is rising too high to take a breath. Something must be moved or shifted from the day in order to embrace contentment. Am I listening to fear? My lack of control? Am I living in the future, missing today? Is my heart weary and parched? If so, I’m finding this to be the Savior drawing me close. He sees the whirring inside and knows only He brings ultimate peace. If not for listening, I may miss a moment, a life preserver rescue of unconditional love, healing and rest.

I listen to my dreams. Are they clouding reality or pushing me towards my passions? Am I shoving a square peg in a round hole? Is it okay to desire more of life? A friend recently reminded me that God has every person on their own unique journey. I am not behind or ahead. I am exactly where I need to be. Some days that brings peace and some days I ask the questions louder. Still, I listen.

I listen to my body. When late to bed I go, and sleep is sacrificed, when/if Ty wakes up at some point for something, and the dog has to pee at 2am, the morning comes way too early. Solution? Go to bed earlier, lame-o!. How long have I been saying this? Regardless, the last couple of nights I’ve turned in with the clock reading pm instead of am {baby steps} and wouldn’t you know?, morning meets an-adventure-to-be-had, not a coffee-dependent-survive-as-we-go outlook. And I feel great!

As I listen, I become aware of the beautiful freedom when depending on God’s leading for the day. Yes, everyday responsibilities demand, but oh-the-freedom when I accept the hours as a gift, rather than falling victim to the crushing weight of today.

What are you listening to? Are you soaking up joy-filled moments and wringing them out contagious all over? Are you scurrying from one meeting to the next so busy you can’t keep your head above water? Are you resentful of your kids; imagining what could be if they didn’t need your time? Do you leave conversations with friends refreshed or frustrated? Are you enjoying your life? Do you believe God hears your questions, your cries, your desires?

Don’t be afraid to ask Him. Then…

Listen. Listen. Listen. And live it!

When the next person asks you how you feel about your life, you can cheer their coffee mug and confidently share. Here’s to praying it’s God-seeking and adventure-filled!

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